Chicago 09

Ben and I ventured off to Chicago the weekend of the 12th.  We traveled with Ben's mom and step-dad, Connie and Mike and had a great time hanging out with Jacque, Ben's sister, and her boyfriend Stu.  We had a great time shopping and I got a killer deal on some CUTE knee-high brown boots, only $43!  I also found a great hand-made bracelet for $17.  I was pretty proud of my purchases and really enjoyed spending time with the family.  We walked all over the city and spent a lot of time on Michigan Avenue.  We went out to a great restaurant for dinner, called Tilly's.  Afterwards, Jacque managed to throw together a surprise birthday party at a local bar for Stu, with many of his friends and a photographer present.  Thankfully, Stu had no inkling about the party and he was sincerely surprised.  Jacque even baked cupcakes, which turned out good!  It was a long drive back home but it was a great weekend.  Now we just need to visit Chicago in the Summer.  We've gone three times, all in October, November and December.  Next Summer we plan to ride in the L.A.T.E. ride, which is in August.  Until then, goodnight.

A Loss

I've been pondering whether or not to blog on this subject.  It's been a challenging time for us and letting any internet browser read it made me cringe.  However, I'm to the point where I feel that talking about this is going to help me process and move on, so *sigh* here I go.
On November 6th, we found out that we were expecting!  We were excited and nervous, as most first time parents are.  We vowed not to tell anyone yet, as we wanted to wait and see a doctor to make things official.  So I diligently called my doctor and was told a nurse would call me back to reschedule.  Then, Saturday morning I woke up with intense pain in my abdomen lasting for nearly an hour.  I called the Nurse line and they suggested I go into the ER, however after getting off the phone with them, I began to feel better and the pain went away.  I started bleeding that day, but it subsided by Sunday afternoon.  Monday morning, I contacted the doctor again, as I still had not heard from anyone.  They diligently took down my responses to all of their questions and informed me that they would let the doctor know, then call me back.  Twenty minutes later, I had an ultrasound appointment and order for labs all ready for me for that afternoon.  Due to my pain and symptoms, they were concerned about an ectopic pregnancy.  I tried not to panic but who wouldn't??
I showed up 15 minutes early for my appointment and waited very impatiently, reading a magazine about "You and Baby," thinking this might not happen.  I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and began to tell myself that everything is likely fine and they're just checking to make sure.  Finally, they called my name, even pronouncing the last name right.  "Please lay down on your back and pull your pants down around your hips."  I did as requested, feeling quite nervous.  My thought was, "Great, I got the one sonographer that could care less about the impact her job has on my life."  Thankfully, things changed and she became more soft-spoken and asked me questions with more tact.  Whew...maybe now I can relax a little.  She waved her wand over my uterus, pressing hard and expressing that they didn't see anything at this time.  I asked her if this was a concern, but she assured me that I wasn't far enough along so it is possible that we won't see anything yet.  Four weeks and 1 day, that was my official report.  Next we used the ever excited vaginal ultrasound.  Uncomfortable, yes, but I guess it saved my life.  During this screening, she was quiet and stared intently at the screen.  After we finished and I got dressed, she explained that the Doctor would check over the screens to ensure they got what they needed and then I could go get my labs drawn.  I waited anxiously and she finally came back.  They had everything they needed and she apologized that she could not tell me the results.  There was the first time I saw that look.  She felt sorry for me and I didn't notice it or register it then, but it was there.  This was not the last time I saw this face...
I went and had labs drawn, then headed upstairs to check in with my doctor.  I took two steps in the door and saw the waiting room full of women, in addition to four in line.  I turned around and walked out the door, thinking, "I doubt they actually have my results already and I'm not waiting 40 minutes or more to fine out, they can just call me."  I went back to work and continued paperwork until I headed off for class for the evening.
As I drove to class, I received a phone call.  It was my nurse from the OB-GYN, asking why I didn't stop by the office.  I explained to her that it wasn't mentioned that it was imperative and I did not feel that they would have had the results already.  She stumbled over her words then asked me if I could hold.  "Sure," I said, like anyone would ever tell her no?  Next, my doctor came on the phone.  "Stacey, we think you need to go to the ER.  Based on your scans, you may have an ectopic pregnancy."  Everything else moved in slow motion.  He asked me about pain.  "No, not really.  Sometimes little twinges like cramps."  Where are they located?  "Primarily on the right, but sometimes midline."  Oh, we think it's in your left tube.  Why don't you head to the ER, Dr. Gisi is on call and he will take care of you.
I hung up and immediately called Ben.  No answer at his desk.  I called his cell.  No answer on his cell.  I called his desk back and left a message.  "Sorry to leave this on your voicemail, but..."
Next, I walked myself into the ER and checked myself in, then sat and let the tears drip down my face.  As I sat, I tried to call Ben again and left a message on his cell phone.  Twenty minutes later, Ben arrives and sits with me in the waiting room.  Finally, my was called.  "Put on this gown and the doctor will be in shortly."  An hour later, two needle sticks and three vials of blood, the doctor enters.  "You have an ectopic pregnancy in your left fallopian tube.  We'll go in to operate laprascopically.  Any questions?"  Uh.........will I still be able to have kids, how long does the surgery take, what are the risks/complications?  Questions were answered and five minutes later a gurney was waiting to take me to surgery.  All of my jewelry into a plastic biohazard bag.  My contact into UA cups, a kiss and more tears with my husband and they wheeled me into the OR.  The only thing I remember is sobbing as they put the mask over my face and I was out.
Next thing I remember is waking up freezing, shaking so hard, my throat hurting and the desperate need to pee.  Two warm blankets, a dose of morphine and a cup of ice chips later, they wheeled me to the bathroom, made sure I could pee and sent me home.
So.....that's the story.  They were able to save my tube, though there is likely to be scarring, which can impact future chances of it reoccurring.  We have our postop appointment on Wednesday, so I will update more when I know more.  Our loss has been difficult and we think about the what-ifs and could have beens every day, but are trying to heal and look to the future.  Thank you to all of our friends and family who have supported us through this extremely challenging time.  I thank my husband for being so supportive, holding me when all I can do is cry and talking with me about our future options.  He is my best friend and I am so thankful I found him.  I love you, Ben.

Back to Busy Life

So this completes my 4th week with ChildServe, and I'm feeling very much employed! I will even receive my second paycheck tomorrow and boy did we miss paydays! Thus far I have been enjoying the job and am attempting learn all there is to know about waiver services for kiddos and their families. Honestly, I was a little worried about working with kiddos that often have some severe disabilities. How do I interact with a child that has little to no communication skills? I always felt awkward talking to them and asking questions, knowing that they can't respond. Through some training and hearing people talk, I've become more comfortable with it. I just imagine myself in their shoes. A functioning brain that is trapped in a sense, inside a paralyzed body. Can you imagine not being able to speak but being able to hear and understand and think inside your head exactly what you want to say, just not being able to???? My job is to help these kiddos find resources to help their families and them have a GREAT LIFE! This is ChildServe's mission statement. Now most companies have mission statements but none are as real and influential in a person's life. I am so thankful for the amazing opportunity to learn and grow while working with these amazing kids. I feel that I learn more from them than they ever could from me and I'm looking forward to being engaged with them for years to come.

I am still going to school to be an elementary school counselor but may slow down classes a little bit to be able to focus on both school and work without one of them suffering. Classes are going well and I have two semesters and a 4.0 GPA under my belt. I'm pretty proud of this, as I have NEVER had a 4.0 in my life and I hope that I can continue to do well, learn and become an amazing counselor for kiddos.

This month, we are planning on traveling to visit Ben's grandpa. The whole family will get together and we'll have to take a picture or two to share. We are going boating this weekend with some friends and hope to enjoy the Labor Day Weekend.

Hope you all have a nice and relaxing weekend as well!

A JOB!

VERY exciting news! I had started with Big Brothers Big Sisters on a part-time basis when I was offered a full time position with an excellent company, Child Serve. They have an amazing reputation here in central Iowa and I can't WAIT to get started and become a part of their incredible team. I was very disappointed about leaving BBBS, as they are a great agency as well. I was very disappointed that they weren't able to have me full-time but I still find the agency amazing and they are doing some amazing things for children and their volunteers. For ChildServe, we are just waiting on the background check and I will get started as a case manager for families with children that have disabilities, both physical and mental. I am very excited to get started and looking forward to the experience that will hopefully strengthen my abilities as a counselor in the future.

I know Ben is feeling better about the acquisition of full time employment and he was recently promoted at WellsFargo. He is really enjoying the company and should be finished with his AA this coming May, 2010. He will be looking into Grandview for a Bachelor's degree and we are excited for the future!

Three Year Anniversary

On June 3rd, we celebrated our three-year wedding anniversary.  While I am amazed that it has been three years already, I am also surprised that it hasn't been more.  We've accomplished a lot in three years.  Ben is working full time with Wells Fargo in a technology support position, moving his way up from a loan document specialist where he started as a temp.  He has won a service award and we went to Cancun for FREE and he is getting ever closer to finishing his Business Information Systems AA at DMACC!  I've had a lot of changes as well, going from working for an Optometrist, to working with kids, families then getting laid off.  I've spent a lot of time figuring out "what I want to be when I grow up" as well.  This January I started graduate school at Drake University, where I never thought I would get in and have passed my first semester with a 4.0!  

A year and a half ago, we purchased our first home and have been enjoying making home improvements to help us better sell it in the future.  The cats love the stairs and are racing up and down them as I type.  

So, looking back at the past three years of marriage and five and half of being together, I can honestly say I am happy.  Despite being laid off and pinching pennies and having to deal with a leaky toilet and ruined floors.  I am happy.  Ben, you make me happy and I'm so thankful we are together.  

Disappointment

After two second round interviews with two different companies, I learned that I did not get either position, despite being qualified and an "excellent candidate" according to both.  Frustrating, yes but that's life, I guess.  I lost out to internal employees in both cases.  My resume did get passed on to another department at one company and I have been contacted for an interview.  This week I have sent in more resumes and have a couple of interviews set up for next week and the following week.  

I am really starting to get down about this.  I know it is not that I am not qualified, but rather there are twice as many people competing for the same position.  It is still frustrating and I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't pick up respite families for the Summer and then Sub in the Middle and High School during the school year.  Problem is, nothing is guaranteed in the way of hours.  If only there was some way to know that it would work out.  

Today is my birthday

Today I turn 26 years old.  While this is not a momentus birthday, I'm glad for it.  Your late twenties is the time that people finally start to take you seriously.  The time I've had free has led to me think more about what has happened since striking out on my own.  I have officially been out of high school for 8 years!  Hard to believe but I'm glad that I had the experience and glad that it is past me.  I have also been out of college for nearly 4 years!  Ben and I will have been together for 5 1/2 years and married for 3 this June.  Time has gone so quickly and I look forward to seeing what is to come.  We plan on having children in the future as well as buy a bigger home, but until we are financially stable again, plans have been on hold.  I am so excited for what's next.  My sister is getting married this Summer.  I still think, gosh, she is so young, forgetting that I was 23 when I was married as well.  I am very excited to celebrate that day with her and my new brother!!!  

I have been interviewing several places this week and am actually on a second round for one company in the hopes of gaining employment.  While I'm trying not to get my hopes up, I would really like the position and it works well with my schooling, so I am keeping my fingers crossed.  

Job Hunting

Still on the hunt.  Had an interview today that went well.  Hope to get a call back for a 3rd round.  I am trying not to get my hopes up, as there are so many jobs with sooo many applicants.  

This week was a challenge for me, at least part of it.  I found out that my respite family is changing providers and made no effort to inform me in a timely manner, let alone seem interested in working with me any longer.  The family knew for two weeks prior to telling me, which explains the distance and tension I was sensing.  So now, not only have I lost my full time position, I also lost my part-time job, which was helping us scrape by.  Great.  

I am now trying to stay positive, with this most recent interview.  I also have great friends who are vouching for me in the schools and am through the first cut to be a secretary at a local school.  Any experience within the schools would be great to help me out with my future School Counselor career.  

Still plugging along and am grateful for all of the support and suggestions given.  

Tolerance is Spreading!

I must admit, when I was watching the news last night I had severe doubts about the Iowa Supreme Court ruling in favor of gay marriage.  As of this morning, I am very surprised and proud to live in a state in which tolerance is spreading like wildfire.  It's about time that people start to recognize that it is a right of all to marry and love whom they choose.  I understand the religious beliefs of many but religion is not practiced by all and other's religion should not restrict everyone's rights.  

I am still in shock but so very excited for all of my LGBT friends and their victory today.  It was a long time coming and I hope to be attending some same sex marriages in support of my friends in the future!

Congratulations!

work??

So this past week has been busy for me, which I am thankful for since I despise sitting around for long.  On Monday I had an interview with Easter Seals, but unfortunately have not heard back regarding a second interview.  That afternoon I hung out with A at the mall and played in the play area.  Afterwards we got a cinnamon sugar pretzel to share and I think he enjoyed it more than I did!  It was delicious.  That night I had class, which is starting to wind down.  I have one paper and a major project to finish.  My other class has a final paper due on the 1st so I've also been busy organizing and researching for that.  I am writing about evidence-based treatments for anxiety disorders in children.  Nothing too exciting but glad to have everything wrapping up.  Tuesday I completely forgot about a job shadow that I had scheduled with K. Mavis out in Waukee.  Thankfully, she is understanding and we rescheduled for Friday.  Wednesday was pretty slow but I have been getting several interview requests.  I had a phone interview with LSI on Thursday, hung out with J at the mall and took C to Cub Scouts.  He made a film canister rocket out of alkaseltzer and water.  It was a big hit with 7 year olds, that's for sure.  Friday I spent the morning at Waukee, shadowing the guidance counselor.  She is a great gal and I hope to get to know her better as I progress through my classes.  That evening we went out with Josh and Elizabeth for some delicious El Rodeo mexican food.  I love that place!  Then hung out at home and played some guitar hero.  

Today was a laid back day.  I had an interview with a local realty agency which went well but I don't feel is a good fit for me right now.  Then Ben and I went to the Natural Living Expo downtown.  Not quite what I thought.  I was hoping for more how to live and do more environmentally friendly things.  They had a lot of food, vitamins, and cloth diapers.  Maybe my expectations were different.  Then we came home and worked on homework for a couple of hours and Ben made dinner.  Quesadillas!  Yup, Mexican food again.  We can't get enough.  Now after catching up on all of our shows, Heros, Grey's Anatomy and Entourage, we will call it a night and snuggle in.  

Sorry this wasn't necessarily an entertaining post.  Just an update of my life since getting laid off.  I've felt quite productive lately and thought I would share.

Domestic Engineering

Today is my first day of not getting paid.  I had five days of vacation, which I used up as of the 17th and am now officially jobless.  I have since taken up Domestic Engineering in the Haylett household.  Since being home for nearly a week, I have gotten a lot done.  I feel busier than I was when I had a job!  I have painted both bedrooms and the carpets are getting cleaned tomorrow.  I have finished up my FAFSA for next year and have spent some quality time with friends.  I have also donated blood and will be heading to dentist in a week.  Whew!  

I am still applying for jobs but am able to pick up additional hours with respite clients and am hoping to continue doing so through summer to allow more freedom for school this summer.  Speaking of school, I have several papers due on Monday and hope to accomplish those tomorrow and Friday.  Painting has just taken up all of my time this week.  I'm glad to be busy as Ben is in Phoenix for work and I was concerned that I would be quite bored.  So far, loneliness has been minimal and I hate to admit I have been sleeping quite well in the queen-sized bed on my own!  

I'll post another update soon.  As for now, enjoy the weather!

Life...

Things have been a bit nuts around here so I thought I'd share with the few who read this.  Due to a 40% budget cut in the program I work for, I will no longer have a job as of March 15th.  While this is typically a reason to gasp and express condolences, I am starting to feel that it is the right thing for me right now.  I was really feeling limited in my position and the company is not improving in terms of the management.  Currently, I'm looking to get into an administrative assistant position or working for a chiropractor or back to the optometrist's office in order to focus more on school and have less emotionally draining work.  Will keep you updated.  

Ben is moving laterally at Wells Fargo and will be supporting loss prevention instead of boarding services, as those services are being moved to Phoenix.  We are thankful that he still has a position with the company and looking forward to taking a business trip later this month to teach Phoenix the support services he provided.  I will enjoy the warmth.  :)  

Hope this finds all of you with a job, healthy and happy.  Hope to visit y'all soon!

Stace

Back into running!

So I haven't updated this in a long while regarding my exercise and running.  At the beginning of December, I joined Aspen here in Des Moines and have been back into my regular exercise routine.  I have been running 3 days a week for almost two whole months now and am up to 3 miles each run.  I am averaging 12 minute miles, which is a vast improvement from my 15+minute mile from October and the half marathon.  I am also still doing Curves three days a week also, which is helping the whole strength training issue.  I hate to say it but I wish I would have done this months ago.  My sister-in-law used to work at Aspen here in town before she moved back to Chicago.  If I would have listened to her, I may be better off but at least I'm there now!  I also bought a Body Bug, which is the calorie counter that the contestants use on Biggest Loser.  I have to say I don't think I would be making progress without it!  I keep track of my food, which I have done before, but this little guy keeps track of my calories burned.  So I can always make sure that I am in a calorie deficit to ensure weight loss.  I have never had success losing weight and getting healthy before.  I am so proud of my accomplishments thus far and can officially say that I have gotten out of the Obese BMI range.  Of course, I want to celebrate with a big dish of Cold Stone ice cream, but I think I will get a manicure or something instead.  Much better reward and definitely helps the motivation!  

Just wanted to update you all!  Best of luck to all of you out there with similar goals!  We all gotta stick together!

Food & Friends

Preparation and "scrunching" of the pot pie.

Ah, that looks delicious!

This is a picture of Ben, Me, Matt and Morgan at Nick and Beth's wedding on January 3rd.  It was a great time, despite the ice storm that moved in that afternoon.  We all made it there and home safely and had a great time celebrating with Mr. and Mrs. Sywassink.  Can't wait for summer camping trips and spending time with our friends.
Since I've had a slow caseload since before Thanksgiving, I've been cooking and baking up a storm.  As much as Ben appreciates this, it means more dishwasher cycles and a seemingly constant rotation of utensils and dishes being used, washed, reused and many "I thought this was already cleaned"s.  I thought I would post some pictures of the things I've been making.  I will share recipes if asked, but as of now, it's too much work to try and find them again.  Often I just "wing it" and make things up as I go.  Hope you enjoy the photos.

Family Visits

We have officially survived the holiday season and all of the inevitable travel that comes with it.  This year, we managed to visit both parent's houses, and both of my grandparent's holiday gatherings within five days.  Honestly, I'm pretty impressed with our skills.  :)

We traveled to see Ben's mom the evening of the 23rd and enjoyed spending time with Jacque, Connie, Mike, Jenni, Levi, Skyler and Kyden.  We missed Rob, Sara and Aidan but hope to see them this coming weekend, as they will be visiting after the 1st of the year!  

On Christmas day, we ventured up the road to Ben's dad's house and as usual, we ended up playing Wii and taking apart things to try and get them to fit into a car.  Good food was eaten and soon enough, it was time to make the trip back to Des Moines.

We arrived in Des Moines on Friday evening and got to spend a little time playing with our new Christmas gifts before going to bed.  We woke up bright and early, packed up the car and then traveled to LeMars to see my family.  I got to go with my mom, sister and future sisters-in-law to pick out bridesmaids dresses for Jess's upcoming wedding.  We were successful and glad to have one more thing accomplished.  We had a gathering of my dad's side of the family that evening and I managed to kill all of my cousin's in Wii Boxing...yeah I rock.  The next day, we spent time with my parents and also had family from my mom's side at the house.  It was fun to see my cousin's and all of their children.  We are going to have to start getting kid's toys again to keep them entertained.  

We also found out that our friends Matt and Morgan are expecting their first child later in 2009.  We are so excited for them and can't wait to be an aunt and uncle!  We wish them the best of luck and look forward to spending lots of time with the new little one to spoil him or her!  This has also sparked my desire to have children immediately but we are trying to be responsible and wait until one of us is done with school.  Ben definitely is putting the blame on Matt and Morgan for this one and to them I say Thanks!  :)

Sunday we finally made it home and spent a week working before having another busy weekend, with our friends Nick and Bethany getting married.  I can't wait to celebrate with them and welcome them to the "club" where we all get together for dinner, watch a movie and then call it a night, all before 9!  Welcome to old married life.  We love it!  :)

That's life's update so far.  Stay tuned for more!