Balance, does it exist?

Today I had a mini-conniption fit.  Had to look up that spelling on dictionary.com (Shout out to them).  Life is BUSY and it is not easy to juggle everything.  I felt I had a pretty good handle on things prior to the arrival of our little monster and thought that it wouldn't be too bad to just incorporate him into our current functioning. HA!  Boy was everyone else right and I was wrong.  I've neglected friends, especially one in particular who is in great need of support and friendship, I've neglected the gym (but keep paying for it), I've neglected school work, I've neglected work (and I just started back), and I've neglected the relationship with my husband.  Finding a balance between everything seems damn near impossible.  How do I get to the gym and feel good about myself, while still getting in time as a couple, spending as much time as possible with my child who is essentially being raised by daycare (this obviously bothers me), putting in enough effort at work to be a benefit for my families, putting in enough effort in school to graduate and finally get my master's degree which I may or may not use, AND still have enough time for socializing and friends?  We are slowly getting into a more predictable routine but honestly, if I want to get in everything every day, I need 40 hour days.  Anyone know how to slow the turning of the Earth's axis in order for this to occur?  I'm open to all options at this point.  Oh, I forgot about housework...keeping the house clean?  Impossible!  I know, we live here, but when I live here and feel the litter that has snuck into my sock and is covering the stairs...something NEEDS to be done.  Okay, so I'm planning to work on that balance in the next month.  I don't expect miracles.  My life is significantly different than it was 3 months ago.  So I need to start with one thing and try to get that worked back in before I move on to another.  A week and half ago I started working again after 10 weeks off.  Not so sure about this forty hours per week business.  It seems absolutely daunting and at around 3pm every day, I want to leave so I can go pick up Aaron and spend a few hours with him before he goes to bed at 7pm.  Not to mention all of the candy and CRAP food that is around, which along with the limited, tight-fitting wardrobe, does not help the self image (enter lack of gym activity here).  BUT, I have bills to pay, families who need support and a team that is counting on me to get my work done.  So I have to choose what I'm going to try to increase my focus on in the next two weeks.  School?  Work?  Aaron?  Ben?  Gym?  Social life/friendship?  After realizing that I really lost focus on a certain friend in particular who really needs my support, I'm planning on working on re-establishing our friendship and supporting her through her challenges.  I know that it's not going to be easy but life changes and as it changes, I need to learn to roll with the punches and get the most of out each experience.  I'll let ya know how it goes.  Wish me luck!

Poop

So, I already gave you fair warning about what this post is about, so if you choose to read further, it is at your own informed risk.  Aaron has pooped on his own for the first time in over a month!  We'd been struggling with constipation since we switched to a soy-based formula.  After asking multiple professionals about changing back to a milk-based formula and getting the same answer ("No, that likely won't make the constipation issue improve"), we decided to go for it anyway.  It was originally believed that Aaron had a milk intolerance, so we stopped nursing after I couldn't handle the stress of making sure I didn't eat ANY dairy, or coffee or chocolate or garlic or onions or pretty much anything.  I just wasn't 100% sold on the idea that he had a milk intolerance, as he was not breaking out in a rash, didn't have bloody stools or anything.  The only symptoms that could have been related were fussiness, gas and spit up.  A lot of a spit up.  Since then, we had visited the chiropractor which significantly improved Aaron's fussiness!  Though now the pediatrician is telling me that it is extremely risky for him to be seeing a chiro at his young age.  I flat out told her that I disagree and that it worked better for his disposition than changing his diet has.  She still doesn't believe me.  Oh well.  So.......we switched back to milk-based formula with broken down proteins to make it a little easier to digest.  Well folks, it worked like a charm, though not without some side-effects.  Aaron spits more again, but more along the lines of a typically spitty baby.  He is still on Prevacid and we are afraid to take him off for fear that the spit will increase.  For now, we will plug along with our new found fix!  Also, belly/gas pains, significantly decreased!  So now we have a generally content baby who just happens to almost constantly be covered in spit up.  And content parents who happen to be covered in spit up as well!  I've had many friends who are parents tell me to go with my gut, despite what the doctors may say at times.  That is my new best advice to new parents.  Go with your gut, with some caution.  Pediatricians, I feel, tend to play down issues, especially for new parents.  But if your child needs help pooping twice a day for over a month...it's not just something they are going to work through.  Just make changes one step at a time to better identify a possible cause!
So we are thankful for poop today folks!  I'll spare you the photograph, but I did make Ben come and see it.  He didn't even flinch when I made that request!  Welcome to Parenthood

Growing boy and Vaccine Woes

is growing like one!  Yesterday was Aaron's 2 month appointment, which I'll have to say did not go according to my plan.  Here's the fun and important info:
Weight: 12lbs 1oz (59th %)
Height: 23 1/2 inches (68th %)
Head: 16 inches (65th %)
I'd say we have a pretty average baby on our hands!  Aaron did a great job and didn't pee on anyone!  He didn't even hardly cry when he had his shot, which is probably due in part to the fact that it was dinner time and literally one second after the shot, he had the bottle in his mouth!  :)  Our challenge came when it was time to talk about vaccines.  I am NOT anti-vaccine.  I feel that there are legitimately bad diseases out there that cause many bad things to happen to not only kids but everyone.  Vaccines are great to help eradicate measles, mumps, polio, etc.  I've been doing a lot of research, interviewing, and pondering over the issue of vaccines.  I work with children with disabilities, many of whom have eerily similar stories of typical development until around 18 months of age.  While this portion of the population is small, it seems that there is still something that triggered a backslide in development around that time.  One thing that all kids get on schedule almost like clockwork?  Vaccines.  Does that mean that these shots are causing developmental disabilites...no!  Could they be?  Maybe.  Could these kiddos already have something else wrong that just doesn't start to manifest until 18 months, sure.  Could the vaccinations be triggering a halt in development at that age?  What is comes down to is, WE DON'T KNOW!  My attempt to avoid possible complications, reactions and problems:  SLOW DOWN!  Many of the diseases our kids are vaccinated for don't really even exist in the United States any more.  Polio, for example.  BUT! You say, that's due to the vaccinations and everyone being vaccinated!  You are correct.  If polio no longer exists, however, my kid is not going to catch it between now and 9 months from now when I want to vaccinate him for it.  Why give him the chemicals and bugs when his little immune system hasn't developed enough yet when the likelihood of him getting a disease like polio is next to nil!?!?  I don't find it necessary to give multiple vaccinations at one time, even if it is only one shot.  Vaccines have chemicals and strange components in them.  Little bodies with barely functioning immune systems need time to develop and get stronger.  Give them a dose of a vaccine, then wait a month and go get another.  Not only will it give them some time to recover but it also will make it easier to figure out what vaccine your little one may be reacting to, if there is a reaction.
Honestly, Aaron has been feeling pretty good today.  Maybe a little more sleepy than most days but no fever, as is usually common.  I guess I'm just frustrated at the lack of understanding from our pediatrician, who was filling in for our typical doc, but the practice has the same philosophy throughout. It turned into an argument instead of expressing concerns rationally until they finally agreed to start the schedule we have planned and to discuss concerns when our regular pediatrician returns.  Hopefully we can come to a compromise, and I am willing to do so with good reason to do so.  Otherwise, we will be looking for a new doctor, which is a daunting task!  We'll keep you updated!

Aaron, eight weeks

Today, Aaron is eight weeks old!  It has been a trying eight weeks, but I think we are seeing some light down the tunnel.  Not the end but definitely moving towards it.  Here's a recap of the past few weeks:
-Aaron was super gassy/fussy.  We gave up nursing at 5 weeks and switched from milked-based formula to soy-based.
-Aaron continues to be gassy and gets constipated.  Fussiness is extremely challenging.
-We started using gas drops and visited the chiropractor, which made a good difference in disposition.
-Aaron is still constipated.  Started prune juice with 1 bottle each day, plus glycerin suppositories.
-We continue to help stimulate BMs, but they are softer and regular.
-At 7 weeks, he started to smile, swing his hands at his play gym and coo.  Babbling and smiles are the best part of my day!

I'm so glad he's starting to feel better. He is really taking in his environment and looking around at everything.  He dislikes tummy time but is getting stronger every day.  How fun to see the changes he goes through so fast!  I'm sad thinking about going back to work in just 3 short weeks!  Wish me luck!  Until then, I'm heading back to playing with my little one!

Tips and Tricks

So, while I don't consider myself an expert, we have started to learn tips and tricks that are working or seem to be working for Aaron's digestive issues.  He is still on soy formula, taking Omeprezole for acid reflux and Similicon for gas.  He is also taking a homeopathic for candidiasis, which could also be contributing to gas.  I thought I would share some tips and tricks that seem to have been helping him through his constipation, spit up and flatulence.
1) Feed him before he's screaming!  Once he starts screaming, he swallows a ton of air and it's all over!  Spit, spit, spit.
2) Feed him holding him semi-upright.  This helps to get the bubbles up towards the top, not settled down in the bottom of his belly.
3) Let him get into a rhythm to eat.  Don't take the bottle out too often.  We burp about every ounce and I warn him when it's coming.  "Next break" we are going to burp.
4) Burping.  You gotta do it.  BUT, if a burp doesn't come, stop and let him eat some more.  Also, he usually screams when we try to burp, so after he finishes his ounce, we put in the pacifier for him to stay calm, give his food a second to settle, then sit up and burp.  With the paci in his mouth.  This has worked GREAT!
5) Similicon.  We give it after he's about 2/3 done with eating, that way it mixes in with what he's already eaten to help break up the bubbles.
6)  Don't over feed.  Aaron seems to think that he is still starving when he's done eating.  I don't think his brain recognizes that he is full fast enough, so he needs a little time to realize his belly is full.
7) Sit up for 10-20 minutes after eating.  While this has led to him being used to falling asleep while being held, it has almost all but eliminated spit up after he lays down for a nap.
8) We also do the Omeprezole.  2 hours after his morning bottle and 30-60 minutes prior to his next bottle.  This is tricky at times, as he likes to eat every 2 hours sometimes, so we've gotten creative to distract him from being hungry.  Snuggling and getting super warm to take a nap with his paci to distract from the hunger seems to help and then he'll sleep for 30 minutes.
9) Glycerin Suppositories:  Due to transitioning to formula, that formula being soy and all of his gas and spit up issues, we've started to use these.  It seems to help soften up his stools enough for him to be able to pass them more independently.  Previously, we had to push on his belly and stimulate his rectum with a rectal thermometer to help him pass stools.  We do still stimulate him to get him to go but it is getting softer and we are hoping we are getting through the constipation.
10) Juice: We've mixed in apple juice and prune juice into bottles to help motility in the little one's colon.  Hasn't seemed to work for us, except the stools are a little softer but still quite firm.
11) Chiropractic care!  This has been one of the things that has significantly helped our fussiness.  Aaron has some strain from delivery on his right side, possibly due to having to wait 20 minutes to finish pushing while the doctor was traveling to the hospital.  After a half dozen adjustments, he is less fussy and able to sleep more comfortably for more than 20 minutes at a time during the day and goes to bed more easily in the evening.  I know many people don't 'believe' in chiropractic care, my husband was one of them.  After adjustments, our little one seems happier and less fussy, which makes mom and dad less fussy as well.

Anyway, these are just a few of our tricks.  Obviously they will not work for every baby but I wanted to share them for those who are struggling with some of the same issues we have.  ALSO, PLEASE be sure you talk to a doctor before you make any changes and try any solutions for your baby!  Karo syrup is often a "home remedy" though it has been linked to cases of botchulism, just like honey.

I'm done...

I have decided to quit pumping.  This decision has been at least two weeks in the making.  After struggling and many tears over nursing, frequent pain and feeling like I never got a break, we have decided to stop pumping breast milk.  Aaron has had issues with SEVERE gas for the past several weeks and we are attempting to rule out a milk sensitivity as the cause.  Due to this, I am not allowed any dairy in my diet, nor coffee, chocolate, onions, garlic, beans, broccoli, cauliflower, basically anything that may give anyone gas.  By the way, milk is in EVERYTHING!  Not to mention, I felt deprived of everything I usually eat and it made me just want it more!  I ate dairy one day and the poor kid suffered through intense intestinal gas for a day and a half.  I finally swallowed my pride and decided to stop nursing.  It wasn't fair to Aaron for me to continue to feed him breastmilk because, "Dammit, I am going to breast feed."  He was so uncomfortable and I knew that it was my fault that he was feeling so awful.  We've gone exclusively to a soy formula now, which we are hoping makes it easier to discover what is causing him such intense pain.  He's also taking an acid reducer to help with spit up, which seems to work at times and not at others.  This was a tough decision for me, but I know that Aaron will still be a healthy child, even though I wasn't able to nurse him and I, will also be much happier and less stressed knowing that I don't have to try to search for time to pump on top of feeding him during the day, as well as stress about the foods that I am eating and the time it takes to prepare and the cost of buying dairy-free.  I'm hoping that it will allow us more time to bond and cuddle and I won't feel resentment towards him for the extreme diet restriction.  What a horrible feeling!  While I didn't want to make the decision, my mom, husband, and close friend helped me rationalize the benefit of doing so and I am mostly at peace with my decision.
Now I am dealing with attempts to more quickly dry up my milk while being as comfortable as possible. I am pumping about 5 minutes at a time a few times a day to relieve some pressure and taking ibuprofen for swelling.  I've read about using cold cabbage leaves in your bra, as well as sage tea but don't think I'm going to partake in those at this time.  We'll just use ice packs, anti-inflammatory medication, continue to drink fluids and decreasing pumping as I am able.  Not enjoying dealing with leaking and the pain of engorgement but it's gotta happen some time.  Better now than while I'm back at work, I guess.  Anyone else out there got any suggestions for more quickly drying up, or easing the ache?  I'd love to hear it!

Nursing...a full time job.

When I took time off from work for maternity leave, I expected that caring for my child would be a lot of work.  I intended to nurse him as much as possible and expected to get some reading done and movies watched.  I did not realize how time intensive just nursing was going to be, not to mention all of the other cares a newborn needs.  Nursing has proved exceptionally challenging.  For something that is supposed to be natural and my body is made to do it, it sure has rebelled.  Now for the TMI section:  My right breast produces at least 3 ounces less than my left, every time, no matter what.  Strange, yes.  Annoying, hell yes. Not to mention...the latch.  Right, no problem, no pain.  Left, painful!  Some days less so but always uncomfortable.  In addition, nursing exclusively means I am up with him all night to feed, which occurs every two hours if I'm lucky.  No matter what I eat, my milk does not keep the little guy full.  Then there is the spit up and gas.  Aaron spits up...A LOT!  We've tried different formulas, siting upright after eating for more than 15 minutes(which has gotten him used to falling asleep while being held), burping more often, less often, sigh!  As far as gas, we've tried burping more, rubbing his belly, bicycling his legs and Mylicon. Mylicon seems to have helped but now he's constipated.  No poop in 4 days.  We've made trips to the doctor and are now eating a dairy free diet, supplementing soy formula and also taking a $55 acid reducer compounded just for babies.  Which is challenging to give due to timing.  Poor guy isn't sleeping very well either, as gas pains wake him up every 20 minutes and he thinks that he is starving.  We are starting to learn when it is just belly pain or true hunger, but are not always accurate.  So until we get this solved, we are waiting on a poop and bouncing baby to shake out the gas. If you stop by to visit in the near future, parden my selfishness in not sharing the baby for long and asking you to put him down if he falls asleep.  We are looking to get back on routine and its taking some time.  Thanks in advance!