Time

No one ever has enough.  We always want more.  More hours in a day, more days in a week (or weekend preferably).  Why do we always book ourselves so full of activities and jobs and things we need to do that when we have free time (what the hell is that anyway?), we can't even sit and relax to enjoy it?!?  In one of my classes, we were challenged to pick one thing that we want to change and take a semester to make that change.  Well, I've realized that there are too many things to pick and I want to change a lot of things.
My first original idea was that I would let go of the "control" that I like to have.  I enjoy knowing what is coming next, what to expect, plan out how each day is going to go and getting EVERYTHING done on my "to do" list for the day.  Yes, I make a "to do" list even on the weekends...if not hand written, it is at least mental.  After realizing how daunting of a task that seems, I have since modified it.  My goal is to take time to do at least 1 thing for myself every day and recognize it.  This can't possibly be that difficult right?  Ehhhh, you are talking to the control freak!  So of course I started to schedule my "me" time and then it just felt like another thing on my "to do" list.  Okay, clearly this is not working and I'm getting frustrated.  My professor's point was to get an understanding of how difficult it is to make changes.  He wants us to see what our clients go through as they are making changes and help us realize that things do get in the way of our goals and it's not just an excuse or resistance to counseling.  Boy, have I learned quick.
Now, my goal has been modified yet again.  I'm not scheduling my "me" time, but I'm setting the bar low.  I will be happy if I get in 1 thing this week and next week I will try for two.  I'm working on changing my perspective and accepting the little joys instead of wallowing in the minor failures that I see.  Between counting calories, two nights of class, work, homework, housework (man, where did all this work come from??), and trying to get in exercise on a regular basis, my life is FULL.  Though, I'm not feeling fulfilled.  I go to bed each night thinking, "Did I even say more than 'Hi, honey' or 'Goodnight' to my husband?  When was the last time we sat and really engaged with each other, without the tv on?  How much worse is this going to get once we have a child involved in our lives?  Now is the time to make a change.
Each time I think about how much the floor needs vacuuming or that it has literally been 3 weeks since the bathroom has been cleaned, I'm trying to stop and think about what matters more.  It's very strange and causes some anxiety.  I will admit I've woken up in the middle of the night and thought, "Do you think Ben would noticed if I vacuumed the stairs quick?"  But I'm starting to enjoy this "me" time that seems to appear when I least expect it.  For example, this blog post totally would not have happened if I hadn't stopped myself from emptying the dishwasher and took the time to express myself at this very moment.  I like blogging, don't do it enough and don't think I'm really good at it, but eh...  It's a step towards reclaiming my life and the Time that I've let slip away.

Pappajohn Sculpture Park

Over the weekend, Ben's dad and stepmom were in town to visit and help us prepare for the arrival of Baby this Winter.  We ventured into downtown and wandered through the Pappajohn Sculpture Park for some great Fall-like weather and photos to share.  We're trying to explore more of the city we live in and get some great shots to represent our adopted hometown.  We've been looking for some photos to hang up at home in the picture frames that have been empty for the past year and half.  Slowly but surely, we are acquiring photos to display in our small, humble home.  I've added some below for your enjoyment.

We also got a crib this weekend.  Thank you Thank you to Lyle and Gail for getting us a crib!  Unfortunately, we had to order it, so it will be here in 6 weeks.  We are confident that the "Little Mac" will wait until after then to arrive.  If not, we'll figure something out.  It's all starting to seem real as furniture and decorations are accumulated.  Thanks again to Lyle and Gail for the SUPER CUTE bedding.  

I can't wait to start putting everything together!  We also explored the Valley Junction store "Little Padded Seats."  We learned all about the new cloth diapers and wandered around the store exploring their natural products.  We decided, after some fancy math from Lyle, that cloth diapers will pay for themselves in 4 months, thus making them essentially free from then on, even through the next kid.  We went ahead and registered.  Each diaper is about $18.00 but buying in bulk, you can get them for $17 a piece.  An investment, yes.  We are looking forward to this new adventure and Ben is ready to change his first diaper ever!  This will be fun!

Apple Tarts and Fabulous Fall

The weather lately has gotten cooler and put me in the mood to bake to my heart's content!  After a recent camping excursion, wine tasting and apple picking with the family, I am ready to enjoy the season.  We had a great time spending time with my parents and my sister, camping for the first time as a family since Jess and I were small.  It was nice to have everyone together, cooking and enjoying the weather and great company.  We now have a bottle of wine to celebrate the arrival of our new addition in December and enough apples to last us at least as long!  Tonight, I've made 2 tarts and am working on plans for more fabulous Fall treats!  What are your favorite fall treats?  Pumpkin bread, apple crisp, pumpkin pie?  Give me some apple-licious ideas and maybe I'll try your recipe/idea next!  Happy Baking!